


My Heart Beats for You

by RileyEatsChildren



Category: Boy Meets World
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Crying, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eric Matthews gets hurt, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Jack Has Issues, M/M, Men Crying, Nightmares, Non-Consensual Violence, Panic Attacks, Scratching, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:59:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27224629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RileyEatsChildren/pseuds/RileyEatsChildren
Summary: Something is wrong.Jack could feel it in his bones.He’s shaking all the time, he can barely breathe on occasion and what was even worse, he thinks he’s seeing things.Feeling things.TW: scratching, panic attacks, blood, cuts (but not self-harm)
Relationships: Jack Hunter/Eric Matthews (Boy Meets World)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 59





	My Heart Beats for You

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this one's pretty angsty and quite rushed.
> 
> Read with caution

Something is wrong. 

Jack could feel it in his bones. 

He’s shaking all the time, he can barely breathe on occasion and what was even worse, he thinks he’s seeing things. 

_ Feeling _ things.

_ Someone’s there. _

_ No one’s there _ , he reminds himself, sighing. This had been happening all the time, he’d hear something that wasn’t there, watch someone walk past without anyone else seeing them, feel all eyes on him when it was just his friends and family who even paid attention.

It wasn’t getting any better, Jack was panicking almost every day, running away from Eric where he sat, coming back with an excuse that he was tired or just a bit under the weather. Eric would just watch his facial expressions as he tried to continue talking about the day as usual.

Jack felt like shit lying to Eric. But for all Jack knew he was _ insane _ , he didn’t want to be taken away from his friends and family, he wanted to stay and just enjoy being with them, even if the price was running off to cry and hyperventilate every two days.

Jack very much didn’t want to talk about it.

And Eric was seemingly trying to respect that.

⁕ - ⁕

Jack was lying unconscious in his bed, sweat dripping down his forehead, goosebumps covering his body. He seemed to be shivering despite the blankets on top of him. His chest frantically moves up and down, the air coming in much too quickly, as he began to shout, whimper, cry. 

Eric awoke to the sound of screaming. Immediately concerned, he ran rapidly to the room, bursting the door open. He could see that Jack was asleep despite the very clear markers that he could be awake, he ran to the bed before thinking and slowing down. 

He carefully sat next to Jack, he tried his best to find the best place to touch, as not to hurt him. His body was thrashing about and Eric couldn’t figure out what was happening, just that he needed to wake up, needed to see his face and by the awful noises his lungs were making, needed to  _ breathe _ . 

Eric lunged forward, breaking his calm as he gripped at Jack, he pulled him up close sitting him up. Jack began to thrash and hit at him, screaming in his sleep. Eric felt tears fall down his face but continued to hold onto his friend as he scratched at his arms. 

“Jack please,” He whimpered. “I’m here it’s okay, just” Jack hit at his chest “please, wake up.” Eric sounded broken, pleading into his ear hugging tighter to the flailing in his arms. He pulled his arms into the hug. “Jack! Please! Wake up!” 

Jack continued to hit against his chest, he screamed, jolting forward into Eric hitting his head against his shoulder. 

Jack awoke suddenly, scrambling to get away from the figure holding him, scratching down his chest. He was hyperventilating again, breaths shaking and broken. 

“Jack, please stop. It’s okay I’m here, it’s just me. Just  _ me _ .” Eric was shaking whispering into his ear.

Jack stopped pushing just enough to get back and see his face. There he was, tears dried on his cheeks, pain plastered on his face, his eyes soft and worried.  _ Eric. _

Eric let out a shaky breath, looking into his eyes. “Breathe Jack, breathe with me.” He took in a breath watching his eyes as he did. Jack breathed with him, his body trembling as his lungs filled. “That’s it, it’s okay, it’s just me.” 

Jack opened his mouth to speak, but he just let out a sob, “ _ Eric.” _ Jack buried his head deep into Eric’s shoulder, he sobbed into him, _ God, what was going to happen to him? _ Eric swiped his fingers through Jack’s hair, gripping at it as he pushed into the hug.  _ Fuck he needed this. _

Jack pulled away rubbing at his nose. “I’m so sorry Eric. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Eric rubbed his hand through Jack’s hair. “I know Jack, it’s okay. I’m gonna get us some water okay?” 

Jack nodded, feeling the itch in his throat now that Eric had mentioned it. 

Eric returned quickly with a glass, he sat down on the bed again handing it to Jack. “Drink up buddy, you sure need it.” 

Jack nodded his thanks as he brought the glass to his lips. The water was cold as soothing, just what he needed. Eric rubbed at his arms, eyes going wide for a second, “I’ll go get a shirt.” He said attempting to hurry out of the room.

Jack pulled him down confusion evident on his face, he scanned his body. Eric’s arms had fingernail scratches running down them, blood coming from a couple. His chest was doing worse, large cuts covering his chest blood smeared across it. Jack looked up with tears in his eyes. 

_ “Did I hurt you?” _

Jack looked down at his hands. Blood stained on the inside of his fingernails.

Jack began to shake.

Eric shook his head, hands coming up to grab at Jack’s. “Hey no, it’s okay. Jack, look at me,” he grabbed the glass, “It’s okay, I promise.” He placed the glass on the bedside table. “I’m okay, it’s alright.”

With shaky hands, Jack brushed his fingertips against the marks. Eric winced above him. “Eric,” Jack started in a broken whisper “Why did you let me do that to you?” Jack brought his hand back to his chest, letting the words he’d said sink in.  _ He’d hurt Eric. Only he was to blame. _

Eric grasped at Jack’s wrists, pulling him close. Jack tried to pull away but Eric’s grip was too tight, he let his head fall to the side instead. Eric watched Jack’s eyes as they focused on the floor, avoiding eye contact. Eric slid his grip a little so he was holding Jack’s hands. He brought his face to the hands, kissing at the knuckle. “You didn’t do this Jack.” 

Jack shook his head, tears swelling at his eyes. “Who else did then? I shouldn’t have been so weak, shouldn’t have let this happen. It’s my fault!” Jack screwed his eyes shut, tears raining down his face as he took sharp breaths. 

Eric didn’t pull away, he pressed his lips to Jack’s hands, flipping them over to kiss at the palms. “These hands could do no harm.” He whispered into the soft skin. Jack whimpered above him as tears continued to fall. Eric hushed him. Successfully pulling him closer Eric let go of Jack’s hands in favour to cup Jack’s face. 

Jack looked up, pouting as the tears refused to stop coming. Eric kissed the wet cheek. Jack took in a deep breath, the breath broken by another sob. Eric pulled away analysing Jack’s features. Eric inhaled. “Jack, please. Look at me.” 

Jack tried his best to look at the ground.

Eric pulled his face closer. “Look here, Hunter.” 

Jack’s eyes fluttered up to him.

Eric looked as though a wildfire was burning in his eyes. Strong, determined. It scared Jack. Eric pulled Jack’s hand up placing it on his chest. Jack could feel the cut under his palm. “Do you feel that?” Eric said with the confidence of one hundred men.

Jack tried to pull back but his hand was weak. Eric’s pulse was not.

“That’s my heart. It’s still beating, is it not?” Jack shook his head trying to break eye contact with Eric. Eric used his other hand to guide Jack’s chin until he was gazing into his eyes again. “As long as that heart beats I’m still here. For as long as it beats I’ll sit here with you, I’ll take whatever you have to give me. And if one day it's scratches across my body, then I don’t mind because tomorrow it’s going to be something else. And I’m staying here to see what it is. Because this heart beats for you Jack Hunter and it’s not stopping anytime soon.”

Jack’s hand shook against Eric’s chest.  _ He’s here. It’s okay. _

Jack closed his eyes as he took a long breath in. The tears continued to stream, but he was okay. He was here and everything was okay. He looked up at Eric again, he smiled. “That was some real Romeo level shit buddy.”

Eric chuckled. “Only the best for you my dear Juliet.” 

Jack pulled his hand back, Eric let him. Eric rubbed at Jack’s cheek. “If you keep crying I’m gonna have to get you another glass.”

Jack hummed. “Yeah.” He chuckled. “I guess so.”

Eric pulled away, grabbing at the glass. 

“Hey,” Jack yanked Eric’s wrist, pulling him down. He brought him in close, chest to chest, as he ran his fingers through Eric’s hair. “Stay here with me, big guy.” 

Eric sighed, the breath dancing across Jack’s collarbone, as he nested his head into the crook of Jack’s shoulder. He brought in a trembling breath. “I was so scared Jack,” He finally said, hugging tighter on Jack’s frame. “I didn’t know what was happening...what to do. I just thought you might need me and maybe then it’d be enough. Maybe then you’d be okay!” Eric’s voice was defeated as he clung to his roommate’s body.

Jack ran his hands down Eric back, trying his best not to think about the bumps he crossed. “I’m okay Eric.” 

Eric pulled up, catching Jack’s eyes in an intense gaze. Tears circled his iris as his wavering breath caught on his lips. “Please, Jack. Please talk to me.” Eric didn’t wait for Jack’s reply, he pulled in again and fell silent to the shake of his own voice.

_ He just wanted to know. He just wanted to hear what Jack had to say. _ It all seemed so clear now that Jack could see again. His fingers wandered up Eric’s arms, he caught at the baby hairs at the base of his neck, Eric whimpered. Tilting Eric’s head up Jack just pecked at his forehead. “I’ll do my best.”

“That’s all I want.” Eric hummed against into the warm skin.

“It seems as though you want all my worst too.” Jack chuckled.

Eric tilted his head to face Jack where it lent of his shoulder. “Hm?”

Jack shifted, suddenly nervous underneath him. He cleared the lump in his throat. “You meant what you said right?” Jack could feel his hands shaking against Eric’s neck. His body flushed red as his mouth went dry.  _ Fuck, why did this have to be so hard? _ Jack brought trembling hands up to twitch in Eric’s hair. He gripped at the strands. He was here. He was  _ here. _

Eric shut an eye, eyebrows furrowing. “Aight easy there.” He muttered lifting his head. 

Jack closed his eyes, filling his lungs. He pushed it all out opening his eyes, making a point to memorise Eric’s. Hazel and filled with emotion. The words came through him like petals fluttering in the wind, barely there, barely noticeable but it was there. It was a sweetness of the world waiting for you.  _ “Your heart beats for me?”  _

Eric sighed and his eyes crinkled as he smiled. “Yes, you idiot.” He cupped Jack’s face. “Always has, always will. So you’d better get used to this stupid mug.”

Jack chuckled. He pushed forward to catch Eric’s lips in his own. He melted there for a second. Hands fisting deep in his Eric’s hair. He could faintly taste honey, see the flowers swaying in the wind. He could feel the morning sun on his skin as he lay there with Eric. But he was here, melting into a kiss so long overdue it didn’t have a date anymore. And he was here. It was okay.

He pulled back to place his head back onto Eric’s. Eyes shut they just let themselves fall away. Their hearts beated together as they fell asleep snuggled into each other. Jack smiled as he fell asleep.

_ It was okay. _

_ You’ve got his heart and he’s got yours. _

_ Don’t give up just yet. _

**Author's Note:**

> You can really tell that I wrote this in an anxiety episode, can't you? 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it and I didn't trigger anyone.
> 
> I'll probably never be able to read this.
> 
> Leave a comment or a kudo, it really helps!


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